Mud

Mysteries of Married Life #2 involves the accretion of mud.  When I go walking, anywhere, my lower legs are quickly covered in mud.  If the ground is wet and boggy the mud reaches to my lower thighs.  In extremely wet conditions it can splash my upper back.  I have even been known to get muddy walking along a tarmacadam road. But my wife attracts no mud, at anytime, in any terrain, whatever the climactic conditions.  Even her boots remain mud free.  It's a muddy  mystery of married life for I guarantee that even in a historical re-enactment of the battle of Passchendaele she would attract no mud . As for my illustrative choice, is it mud or is it chocolate that covers the fiery eyed young woman?  Do I lick or do I wallow?  Flanders and Swann would know what to do.