toasted bread soldiers

There are some foods that are transformed by the simplest of things into something elegant and refined. For example, take a soft boiled egg and add to it toasted bread soldiers lightly buttered. Sprinkle a little salt, some pepper, dip your first toasted soldier, and I guarantee you'll be in foodie heaven.  Go on, try it.  There is really nothing quite like a soft boiled egg with lightly buttered toasted bread soldiers.  Oh, and the egg is best boiled for three minutes exactly but should be placed in the pot of cold water from the start.  (These instructions are for Large, Free Range Eggs and take no account of the risk from salmonella because there really isn't one. Raw eggs can certainly present a health risk from Salmonellosis, but so too can reptiles and especially pet turtles.  Both things best not eaten with your breakfast.)

Ho! Ho! Ho!

An old joke maybe but it does make me smile.  As do these:

"Did you hear about the bloke who bought a bottle of liquid Viagra?  He drank Tippex by mistake and woke up with an enormous correction."

The Dalai Lama goes into a pizza shop, and asks, 'Can you make me One with everything?' 

Ho!  ho!  

The ugly face of religion

On the BBC TV programme QI recently I was slightly startled, but secretly pleased, to hear the host Stephen Fry declare that 'religion is shit!'.  Two stories in today's Guardian suggest he was right, that whatever benefits religion might bring in terms of personal consolation, its wider social effects are often wholly negative.  In the first article, about the worldwide eradication of polio, Jason Burke describes how 'in the late 1990s, (in India) local clerics began telling congregations that the (polio) vaccinations were part of a government plan, backed by the West, to make Muslim women infertile'.    Burke goes on to explain that 'some religious leaders convinced the community otherwise', but the point surely remains that religious groups continue to wield a disproportionate influence in our post-Enlightenment world.  Just consider, for example, the majority church leaders response to the idea of same-sex marriage in Scotland, which they were of course against.  There followed an equally disturbing story from Afghanistan about the torture and imprisonment of a fourteen year-old girl by her husband and his family that involved her fingernails being ripped out by pliers and her ears burned.  The roots of domestic violence against women, child marriage and the absence of basic legal rights for women are as much cultural as religious in Afghanistan, but given that Islam underpins so much of Afghan society it seems once again that the influence of religion can be as much pernicious as beneficial.  The fact that it is delusional and based on a belief in supernatural beings renders it even more disturbing.  And yet, it continues to prosper across the world and surely will continue to do so ad infinitum.  

Mild comic threat

It's that time of year again, the start of a new one, and traditionally the moment to list resolutions for the twelve months that lie ahead.  They don't always work but they're fun to do.  Mine include being a more regular blogger, eating less, reading more, going out to the theatre on a more regular basis, listening to my backlog of new cds, reading my backlog of books, exercising more, worrying less, and etc.  So no surprises there then.  I also hope to be able to go to the cinema more in 2012 but that depends largely on the selection offered at our local multiplex.  Mostly the films I want to see aren't shown, but an exception is 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' remake.  That's for tomorrow afternoon hopefully.  On checking the listings, I did find another hilarious advisory from the BBFC for Mr Popper's Penguins, quote, 'Contains mild comic threat and flatulence jokes'.  Penguins that fart?  Well, I never.  That's almost as funny as Edinburgh Zoo spending tens of thousands of pounds a year renting pandas from China.  At a time of economic austerity, for anyone to commit several millions of pounds to hiring out cuddly bears is beyond preposterous.  Aargh!  Looks like 2012 is going to be just as crazy as 2011 and the Olympics haven't even started yet.  At least with the Queen's Diamond Jubilee we get an extra holiday.  I suppose we have the excitement of the American Presidential election to look forward to, starting with the race for the Republican nomination, and the distant but longed for implosion of Britain's coalition government, starting with the implosion of George Osborne.  My money is still on Obama winning in November and I will certainly enjoy reading about the twists and turns of the election in my beloved Guardian - in newsprint for I have not yet been persuaded by a Kindle, but I can feel the moment approaching.  And whatever happened to Sarah Palin?  The Tea Party seems to be losing ground in term of its electoral support but the Republican Party still kowtows to it in much the same way as Cameron kowtows to the Tory right in the UK.  Why not just take the right-wingers and all of their associated nutty, loony-tunes supporters on face to face?  President Bartlett would.  Which reminds me that I must re-resolve to re-watch The West Wing on dvd from beginning to end in 2012. 

Simple math

It takes a few minutes to do the math, a simple calculation to determine the number of years we have been married.  But I need to stop and think about it.  My wife just knows.  It's the same with birthdays and other celebrations that need to be memorialised.  I need a written prompt but it seems to have been enoded into her DNA.  It must just be another one of those mysteries of married life, although I can't say which one - I've lost count.

reasons to be cheerful

Love, life and laughter.  Family, good food, wine, and beer.  Crispy snow under a blue sky.  Walking across muddy fields towards a warm house. Lying in the sun, snoozing in the afternoon.  Music.  Listening to the radio.  Did I mention sex yet?  Eating out.  Looking at art.  Standing at the top of a hill you've walked up.  Watching your cat.  Talking to friends.  Reading a book that is truly a home for the mind.  Walking through a wood.  Travel.  A hot shower.  Pebbles on the beach.  Watching the waves of a rough sea from the safety of the shore.  Walking around a town or city in the hot sun.  Sitting sipping coffee or cold beer and watching the world go by. Hearing something nice being said to you.  Cuddling your wife.  Kissing.  Waking up beside your wife.  Kissing. 

Words hurt ... words heal

I never did understand the old saw that 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'.  Words do hurt, everyone knows that, from the playground bully to tabloid journalists and politicians,  and all of their many victims.  Having myself been the recent victim  of a venomous outburst of vitriol I know whereof I speak.  What is remarkable to me is the power these words have, have had, continue to have.  It appears that they have been seared on my psyche.  They still swirl unannounced and unwelcome around my head.  They still sting.  I struggle to find the right words to heal and am reminded of the truism that a negative encounter has many more times an effect than a positive one.  Presumably time will be the great healer as often it is, but what a painful journey.